We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
