I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize