They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
