So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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