matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize