Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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