Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
