wakey wakey hands off snakey
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Randomize
