Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
