Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Randomize
