Pants 0. Shit 1.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize