nut hugger
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
