oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
