How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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