that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
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