I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
