So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize