Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
