Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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