he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
