We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
ttyl tear gas
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
