I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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