Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
