Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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