I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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