Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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