You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
