How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize