just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
