I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
