He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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