the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
