How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
