I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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