Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
