marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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