He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
