You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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