so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
