i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
