yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize