She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
and you fell through a lawn chair
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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