yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
