yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
