i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
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