A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
