I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He felt like a one man threesome
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
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