I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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