This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I have peed in a lot of sinks
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize