I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
