I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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