What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Boobs are out for the taking
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize