How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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