while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize