Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
