i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I deserve this hangover.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
