I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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