I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
