I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
