some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize