It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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