I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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