Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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