I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
