i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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