you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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