You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
