bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
