My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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