R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
