I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
