Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Randomize
