I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
