why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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