After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize