I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
