Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
