you guys were way drunker than both of me
where am i from again
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize