He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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