...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
