Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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