i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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