how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
